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scared




a lot is being thrown our way these days and it is all coming in great crashing waves. we are being challenged to the very core of what we know and believe ~ about love, about expectations, about the physical world and the role of "things" in our life, about money, about community, about family, about growth and learning, about shame and redemption, and ultimately about finding true inner happiness.

the road is long.

many of our old ideals are being scattered to the wind
to make room for new ones.

expectations are being reshaped.

love is just about all that is keeping us glued and whole.

and we are quickly learning that that is enough.

our world is in a major phase of deconstruction, and it will all be taken down, brick by brick, to the foundation. though along with the grieving and loss and fear, there still remains hope. hope of rebuilding stronger and better and wiser, with the tools of experience, our bags full of life lessons, and our hearts open to what is to come.

we are leaving behind...a school that we thought might have the answers, a house that we have outgrown with a mortgage that has twice outgrown us, a path of education that would have been mainstream and predictable, a lifetime debt, an old job that was meaningful but will be there for me if needed, old ideas about health of the mind, body and soul, the heavy chains of shame and guilt.

in many ways this is like a fresh start for us. the light is shining brightly through the cracks of all the chaos, beckoning us forward. and when we finally come to the point when we have broken through, the sun shining full on our faces and the open air filling our lungs, in that moment of peace we will begin again.


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