Skip to main content

because



because i love my husband...
i soften when the phone rings every morning at 8:30, knowing it's him
i see him in the shape of my son's lips and his curiosity, and it makes me smile
i forgive him every time
i dream of our future with so many years still ahead
i hate that our bed is so big and there is often a dog, a child and a cat sleeping between us
i feel his pain and frustration as my own
i want to know he is happy
i am so grateful for every little part of him
i hope he knows how much i love him, even when life is pure chaos
i feel guilty for sometimes complicating our world with my own stuff
i can't believe he's mine
i am a better person for it

because i love my son...
i sometimes tear up in moments of such stunning, perfect love
i accept his imperfections because they often mirror my own
i see his pure unadultured joy as a gift
i feel bad when i yell
i think he is the cutest, smartest, most wonderful little person on this earth
i pray my best is good enough
i want to share all the magic of the world with him
i hate when he is afraid
i wish for him a long, happy, fullfilled life
i can't believe he's mine
i am a better person for it

because i love my father (happy birthday dad!)...
i pray for him to stay healthy
i am warmed by his unique quirks, his everyday bagel, his too hot coffee, his lucky green boxers
i admire him for being so accomplished at work and nationally respected in his field
i hope that i have even half his loyalty, integrity, dedication
i am greatful for his unwavering support even when i don't always make him proud
i still secretly hope that he is proud
i remember that he chose me
i know as a parent now that he did his best as a dad, and it is more than good enough
i really enjoy talking with him especially because he is a man of so few words
i see how he believes in me
i know his sense of humor is his way of showing he cares
i can't believe he's mine
i am a better person for it

because i love my brother...
i want him to always have happiness and love in his life
i treasure the time he spends with my son and that he is uncle A to him
i will never forget how he stood up for me to his friends when they made fun of me
i admire how patient and dedicated and caring he is
i wish his life was just a little bit easier
i have so many happy childhood memories because of him
i am sorry for the times when i was not the best big sister
i hope he knows that i look up to him, even if he is my little brother
i can't believe he's mine
i am a better person for it

Popular posts from this blog

Inner Alchemy Cards: Build A New World Deck

Our next make-your-own card adventure is finally here! Inner Alchemy Collage: Build A New World Deck (online) is an artful exploration of language, learning, inspiration, and collaboration, that delves into important ideas around activism and systems of oppression. This is a way for us to examine and disrupt harmful dominant narratives, tell new stories, and inspire one another to use our creativity and personal power to help build the collective world we all want to live in! In the end you will have a beautiful and meaningful handmade deck of 35 oracle cards to use as unique a tool for guidance and reflection whenever you need it.  I'm your host,  Mindy Tsonas Choi , an artist, organizer, radical belonging activist, and the founder of the Be Seen Project - a grassroots initiative resourcing BIPOC artist and makers working in activism. Join me along with other stellar artists, makers and co-creators who have also been exploring social justice and activism as part of their creativ

The Cost of Selling Belonging

As someone who use to sell belonging and believed I was creating something universally magical , I now have fresh eyes on the harm that I once caused. I understand what can (and was) incredibly healing and impactful for some, was at the same time excluding, marginalizing and undervaluing others. First, to anyone who ever felt like they did not belong to anything I created because they were unable to afford it or felt like they did not have the social capitol to join -  I am sincerely sorry for not seeing you sooner .   To our entire creative community as a whole, I urge us all to think about belonging in new and equitable ways, and to do the work of dismantling these hierarchical structures that leave so many people out of the circle. We all deserve to have access to creativity and belonging, and I'd go so far as to say both are fundamental basic human needs and rights. Selling belonging can look like... Creating spaces and experiences that can only be accessed by buying in at one,

what's in a name?

It’s May 14, 2020 and I’m on a transnational call with a social worker and translator of the SOS Children’s Village offices in South Korea. It’s 7pm my time and 9am the next day in Korea, which adds to the surreal quality of the moment. It is my first long distance call following my inquiry with the organization documented to be my first place of entry into the system, found in my Korean records (the acquisition of which is an incredible story in and of itself). It was July 21, 1972 and I was 5 months old. It’s a small miracle the organization still exists, and an even bigger blessing that they took such time and care in searching for information and to talk it all through with me in person. I try not to cry as the call connects. What I learn is a lot of small details about that fateful evening which amount to nothing traceable, but still feel like huge missing pieces of my life. I was left near the entrance around 7pm under a small tree, wrapped in a blanket with only a name scribble