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our love

our love is... infinate, strong, & sometimes messy. but it is ours and therefore more than i could ever ask for. it is wheatland street, small factory at the causway, and mika in his playpen. it is c.o.p. and a setup in the isles of toys R' us, it is all night in the park being young and free, the top of mount washington snuggling in sleeping bags zipped together, and the first fateful ski trip with xtc playing in the car. it is elliott always in the sink and in the way, and always new music and new food to share with a girl of the bland suburbs. it is playing hooky from work (even after getting my mom on the phone) to make love and be together. it is life together than apart then together again because we couldn't bear being apart. it is the city of sin by the sea and the friendships born between us, and halloween parties and random fireworks off the balcony. it is adopting a puppy in the night like contraband, and falling in love with all legs and paws. it is the shine of las vegas, and the surreal beauty of havasu falls, and a wedding that was like a dream except for secrets revealed during a toast that ran too long :) it is becoming a part of each other's families, and all of their love and support even when they call too much or don't call at all. it is harold and maude and the sleeping gypsy and ella fitzgerald. it is honeybun, chumely, boogie and bugs. it is kimchee and christmas and hannukah too. it is our struggles big and small but working through them, forgiving and growing and committing to forever again and again.

our love is our son. our son with your love of nature and my desire to create, and my soft eyebrows and your long limbs. it is always teaching and learning life lessons, more than our fair share these days. it is peanut free, and searching for a better way, and trying our best from moment to moment. it is sticker charts, and sambal, and our secret stairs letterbox. it is cows, and fuzzy blanket, and walks on the beach. it is pizza & game night, and making time for each other but also giving space. it is firgiving and accepting and supporting and listening. it is always finding our way back to each other's arms. it is so much more than i could ever write here or even remember, but it has filled me up so completely over and over again with happiness and hope even at the brink of despair.

it is the next chapter to being written, and our happily ever after that i know will be waiting for us at the end. i love you.

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