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little earthquakes

i once read a quote that said how life's emotional ups and downs, though different in circumstance, are basically similar to everyone's human experience...the real difference is how each one of us moves through these challenges and triumphs. we all feel the wide range of emotional responses to what life might throw our way. it is how we react that makes us each different and defines the contours of our own lives.

i am learning to detect these little earthquakes - the things that shake loose the small bits of joy or sometimes sorrow that i don't always notice right away. there are many. i want to be able to respond with thoughtfulness and grace, but i know as of late i have been more reactionary. i have been floating in the tide at the whim of it's ebb and flow, and not really working to paddle in a desired direction. and i do have move forward, to feel connected, to have meaning, to find as much happiness as possible.

this leaves me wanting to feel rooted firmly to the earth, both to reconnect with my center and so i can actually feel all those quakes that rumble through me each day. i have spent a fair amount of time trying to avoid feeling or to change them, only to end up being overwhelmed and stressed. it's a lot of work to build walls and i tend to built mine tall and thick.

so now i am thinking about these little earthquakes, and i am inviting them to help me tumble down some of the barriers - the ones i built to protect myself from i'm not sure what. because i want to feel the warmth from within, and the hands of others holding mine, and a heart that is full and content.

i am ready to be shaken up a little.