my husband and i recently joined a support group for parents of children with adhd. it's been a different kind of learning for us. we've both read the books, and dug through resources, and even worked professionally with other children with adhd (my husband still does). what we've learned is that none of this can really prepare you for living through the day to day challenges associated with this disorder.
as one mom in the group said... some days are great, and other days are just really crappy. and while you may be thinking to yourself 'isn't this true for everyone?', it was the similarity of the stories and parallel in struggles that had us all quietly nodding and tearing up.
for me it has been tremendously healing to sit with these moms and dads. i can tell you now, that for many years i honestly thought it was me... that i was not a good mother. that i did not have what it took to be a mom. that something i was doing or not doing was really the cause of all the trouble. i honestly believed that. so much so that i was afraid to have another child and doubted that i ever would.
now as i am finding my way in my own motherhood and realizing the strength that i didn't even know i had, i am starting to reconcile some of these feelings. along the way i am learning... always learning about myself and my son.
most recently in group we learned about courage; the courage it takes for our kids to wake up and face each day... to go to school knowing it's going to be really challenging... to go to soccer practice and be the one that is always out of line... to be the kid that others don't really understand... to feel like you fail more than you succeed, but try anyway... to have to work ten times harder than most kids in everything you do... to want to stay focused but can't... to feel out of control most of the time...
and i got it, like a brick to the head.
my son at six years old is already a warrior.