a sailors valentine, made by my son
i began writing here at under a pink sky after my first son was born, in 2004 (the first 2 and a half years were regrettably deleted, which is a long story for another post someday). the blog world was just emerging on to the scene, and i came to this space to find creative inpiration and connection and to give my own thoughts a voice. though i wasn't really thinking about it then, i did have an inkling that this medium was a really powerful tool. it was a way to create, to share, to search, and to find. i did all of those things and to my amazement it has changed the landscape of my life.
as a new mom and a creative type i loved wandering around the blogsphere. it led me to so many amazing women, and i immediately made some wonderful kindred connections. i shared my own journey wholeheartedly, colorfully, and passionately. back in those days, i wrote on these pages very day. it was the way i began to stretch my wings and really listen to myself.
i've always kept a journal or diary, even when i was young. i have stacks of word-filled books from all different stages of my life. it was always natural for me to narrate my days and record my feelings. i did so with a need and desire to simply express what was filling my head and heart. many of these books are filled with really heavy thoughts...my writing has always been kind of weighty. it helped me to unload.
what i loved (and still do) about writing on a blog is that it really helps me to focus the beauty of my days. it pushes me to see the simple things that bring joy into my life. sometimes these might seem small and insignificant, but i have learned over time that these are the things that fill a life, like beads on a long strand.
i've always struggled with how much to share on my blog. i think this question is one that many of us bump into now and again, and i recently had a pretty pivitol conversation with someone about this very topic. for me, i have always been the type to wear my heart on my sleeve and to not share the struggles alongside the beauty never felt quite right. in those early years of writing here, my family never read my blog so it was a safe container for me to explore and share. i liked having that kind of anonymity in the beginning (even though the whole world could read what i wrote), but essentially i was writing to strangers so it felt very freeing.
now, having met so many of these women and can even call some them friends i write to a different audience. my family is now reading along too and that changes how this space feels as well. under a pink sky is like an old friend... it's where everything began. it feels comfortable and cozy here, and yet it is still evolving. i'm wondering what the next phase will be.
i am considering removing the comments from this blog, not because i don't like to hear from all of you (i really do, very much actually). while the feedback can be so uplifting and validating and fun, i also wonder what it would feel like to simply put my thoughts and feelings out to the universe unteathered and free. in a way, the possiblity of comments pulls your thoughts in a specific direction when sharing. it's not quite like writing simply for yourself. so i'm just wondering if this would open up some space.
with all the wonderful connecting i do over in the wishstudio, i'm wondering if this space should just be for sharing. these days, i think that there is a real frenzy around connecting and getting immediate feedback, which in some respects it is completely amazing and technologically fascinating. though it also feels a bit... i'm not really sure what, overconnected (?). it is why i have not taken the leap to join twitter and facebook and other social media outlets. some might say this is not hip or savvy, but i really am thinking a lot about what i want my (online) presence in this world to be. do people really want a play by play of everything i do? i somehow really doubt it.
so these are the thoughts swimming around in my head today. i completely see the irony of this, but i'm asking you, what do you think?