Skip to main content

happy father's day

Ramblings from the husband of a crafty wife and dad of the two best kids in my world
by alex tsonas
I must say that I am truly amazed that Mindy can do this blogging with such regularity and creativity.  I have been agonizing over this one little entry for the past two weeks – what do I say, how do I say it, what will others think – it has been pretty daunting.  I often take her posts for granted – I read them and am touched by the things she writes – but I never really thought what it takes to do it.  After this blog I have a whole new appreciation for what she is able to do on a daily basis and how many people she inspires.
I live in a crafty and emotive household.  I think the two often go hand in hand.  Things are being made, blogs being posted, projects in the works and gifts being sent to us from other crafty souls.  Mindy whips up these amazing things – mixed medium art, cards, gifts, projects.  My oldest son’s second favorite color (next to pink) is Tiffany blue.  Tiffany blue?  What is that?  Had to ask him that one.  He is a beader, a photographer, a maker of things.  And our littlest boy, who is 11 months old, I am sure is not too far behind his mumma and big brother.  And then there is me without an artistic or creative bone in my body – but I can still appreciate and be amazed at the creativity around me.

Walk a Little Slower Daddy
“Walk a little slower, Daddy”, said a little child so small.
I’m following in your footsteps and don’t want to fall.
Sometimes your steps are very fast, sometime they are hard to see.
So walk a little slower Daddy, for you are leading me.
Someday when I’m all grown up, you’re what I want to be.
Then I will have a little child who’ll want to follow me.
And I want you to lead just right, and know that I was true.
So, walk a little slower, Daddy, for I must follow you.
This poem was the first present I ever received from my first born for Father’s Day.  It most likely was yours too.  It came with a stamp of his hands and feet.  I have it on the wall of my office.  And every single time I read it I start to tear up (not great when you work at an alternative high school).  It gets me every single time and I often walk by it and consciously not read it.  The weight of it overwhelms me.  I have always been immensely self-critical when it comes to raising our oldest – often waking up the next morning saying “I can’t believe I did that or handled that situation like that” – My sons are everything to me and that is the easy part.  The fact that I am everything to them is what is so wonderful and so hard.  Fatherhood has been the greatest and toughest thing I have ever done.  Someone once told me that when you have children your life is over.  They were right  – but the new life that unfolds has been an amazing, inspiring, wonderful, a gift.  I could never imagine a life without my family – beautiful and messy that it is…
Like when we were playing Wii one day – side note, Wii is the root of all evil.  Someone once said that Wii turned kids into angry drunks – they were dead on!  My son and i were playing along, not a care in the world, father and son bonding through digital connection and he drops the f-bomb.  Word of caution here – if for a second you worry about an answer don’t ask the question.   And so dad forged ahead and asked, “where did you hear that from?”  “You dad!”
And then there is the baby – my not so little (he is a big 11 month old) ray of sunshine.  I come home every day and no matter what my day was like and no matter what is going on in the house at that time he greets me with the biggest smile in the world and I feel that basic essence of love – it is the most amazing thing – it makes me well up as I write this – and it makes me so happy to be his dad.

I love being a dad – that is it and that is all there is – I could never, would never want to imagine my life without my two boys – they are everything to me and I have never gone a day without, in some way, feeling or thinking these things.
“Happy father’s day”, dad’s, father’s, papa’s, old man’s , dadda’s – have a great day!
to celebrate father’s day a few husbands share…
read more inspiring openhearted posts by dads on these beautiful blogs:
life set to words (maegan beishline’s husband)
boho girl (denise andrade’s sweet boho man)
the whole self (nina beana’s cat’s meow)


Popular posts from this blog

Inner Alchemy Cards: Build A New World Deck

Our next make-your-own card adventure is finally here! Inner Alchemy Collage: Build A New World Deck (online) is an artful exploration of language, learning, inspiration, and collaboration, that delves into important ideas around activism and systems of oppression. This is a way for us to examine and disrupt harmful dominant narratives, tell new stories, and inspire one another to use our creativity and personal power to help build the collective world we all want to live in! In the end you will have a beautiful and meaningful handmade deck of 35 oracle cards to use as unique a tool for guidance and reflection whenever you need it.  I'm your host,  Mindy Tsonas Choi , an artist, organizer, radical belonging activist, and the founder of the Be Seen Project - a grassroots initiative resourcing BIPOC artist and makers working in activism. Join me along with other stellar artists, makers and co-creators who have also been exploring social justice and activism as part of their creativ

The Cost of Selling Belonging

As someone who use to sell belonging and believed I was creating something universally magical , I now have fresh eyes on the harm that I once caused. I understand what can (and was) incredibly healing and impactful for some, was at the same time excluding, marginalizing and undervaluing others. First, to anyone who ever felt like they did not belong to anything I created because they were unable to afford it or felt like they did not have the social capitol to join -  I am sincerely sorry for not seeing you sooner .   To our entire creative community as a whole, I urge us all to think about belonging in new and equitable ways, and to do the work of dismantling these hierarchical structures that leave so many people out of the circle. We all deserve to have access to creativity and belonging, and I'd go so far as to say both are fundamental basic human needs and rights. Selling belonging can look like... Creating spaces and experiences that can only be accessed by buying in at one,

what's in a name?

It’s May 14, 2020 and I’m on a transnational call with a social worker and translator of the SOS Children’s Village offices in South Korea. It’s 7pm my time and 9am the next day in Korea, which adds to the surreal quality of the moment. It is my first long distance call following my inquiry with the organization documented to be my first place of entry into the system, found in my Korean records (the acquisition of which is an incredible story in and of itself). It was July 21, 1972 and I was 5 months old. It’s a small miracle the organization still exists, and an even bigger blessing that they took such time and care in searching for information and to talk it all through with me in person. I try not to cry as the call connects. What I learn is a lot of small details about that fateful evening which amount to nothing traceable, but still feel like huge missing pieces of my life. I was left near the entrance around 7pm under a small tree, wrapped in a blanket with only a name scribble