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Showing posts from January, 2013

jan.30 {my january crush list}

Oh, January... you were mostly good to me after we finally got going, and I'm willing to let bygones be bygones (#worstfluever) since you did gift us with some pretty amazingly warm days.  Wish you could have been a lot kinder to Alex, but I'm hoping February will swoop in and love him up bigtime.  Here's a little list of things that made the days a bit more blissful as I wrap up this first kinda bumpy month of the new year: 1.  Blogger's new Dynamic Views templates and Southern Speaker for all of his awesome CSS know-how. 2.  My new Moleskine (I love you Planner Pad, but I think we are officially over, at least for this year). 3.  Connecting with some really amazing women who inspire me because they are bold and daring and 100% themselves and telling it like it is (I can't wait for you to read what these girls have to share)! 4.  Fresh, blank sketchpads for the kids that become a little creative anthology of the year.  A great way to wrangle their artful inclinat

jan.29 {like wine through water}

  I have been in the studio a lot, more than usual, painting and sketching things that feel so good - just right, really.  In fact, last weekend I was at my table laying down some initial layers and color, listening to music and quietly drifting into the process when I started crying.  At first it took me by surprise and I was confused as to why I was getting teary because I hadn't even really been thinking about anything at all.  It was like I opened a doorway that I hadn't realized was there, feeling my way into a less guarded space by moving paint around.  The emotions tumbled out in an one soft, fluid rush.  I just kept painting through it without trying to understand or control it and let it move through me in one swell that was gone in a matter of minutes.     Interestingly enough, I was working on a piece that I already knew would be called 'Release'.  The word and the image of wings were floating in my head, and before it all made it's way out onto the canva

jan.28 {energy play}

I used to think that old saying about the full moon was kind of an exaggeration.  It wasn't really until I started working at a group home for kids that I realized, for sure, that it was true.  Like clockwork the natives would be restless and howling, and low and behold the full moon would be beaming mischievously upon us with a full-on grin. I am one of those people who is really effected as well.  I've noticed it more and more as I get older, partly because for a long time my moon cycle was always in tune with the waxing and waning of it's namesake and my own constitution is full of water as well (any other mercurial aquarians out there?).   I also live by the sea and see how the earth rhythmically stretches towards her as well. I know I have said it before but it bears repeating (because it's a reminder I need in my own life. often.) - life is all about relationships, between people as well as all the inanimate things and abstract concepts that surround you.  How you

jan.27 {stop being brave}

 {work in progress - Release} This morning I looked up the definition of the word 'brave'.  I've been thinking about this word a lot as I use it and come across it so often.  What I'm thinking is that brave is beginning to lose it's power for me.  Part of it is because it is such a common word these days.  Everywhere we are being called to be brave with our lives, with our dreams, with our stories, and with our own sense of self, and for a long time it felt like the right sentiment. What is missing for me in this word now is a sense of action, some position of power - brave suddenly feels passive, like sitting in a place where you have no control over what's in front of you bearing it out as best you can.  We are brave when we try something new.  We are brave when we face fear.  We are brave when we make ourselves vulnerable.   It means we are steeling ourselves against something that is happening to us, a negative feeling, or something we want to happen amidst

jan.24 {breaking up is hard to do}

{I Am, mixed media on canvas inspired by Kelly Barton} Even when you are absolutely sure that it's time, it's still very hard to break up.  A cozy and mediocre relationship is so much easier than having to begin to search and put yourself out there in the world open, vulnerable, and on your own again.  It's not really that horrible of relationship, is it? No - it's not, but truthfully it is holding you back from being with someone who you can truly love (but you already know that). Look on the bright side.  You get to stay in your pajamas all day, eat ice cream right out of the container (the good stuff, not that fat free sugar free crap), play your favorite love songs, and have a mini pity fest.  After all, it's genuinely sad to leave behind someone you've loved so whole-heartedly for so long.  I promise you though, the next one you fall in love with will be all that and a box of Godiva chocolates. The thing is, you have to break up with the girl you wish you

jan.23 {private parts}

{art by karen davidson eklind} Admittedly, I like to push buttons and nudge people out of their comfort zone.  I think I always have, which is why I love to spark people and get them excited about their lives, but I guess I'm just a bit wary of only showing up as my shiny artsy self.  Really, I love this part of who I am and she mostly rules the roost, but I guess I never really told you that she cohabitates with a girl who is restless and daring and likes to get tangled up in a bit of delicious trouble every now and then.  I'd really like to introduce you to her because she's pretty fun and has some good stories to tell, but truthfully it's kind of scary - she's not the kind of girl you would bring home to meet your mother, and honestly I haven't even introduced her to mine (so there's that).  It's not just about the shock and awe though.  I have felt more and more over the past few years, parallel to an integral journey that maybe someday I'll sha

jan.22 {a spoon full of sugar}

So it seems that the nasty flu bug has finally been exorcised from this house and is all but a lingering cough and a couple of stuffy noses.  Here we are in a fresh new week and it's already Tuesday.  We were supposed to get a boat load of snow overnight, but as island life goes it's no more than a sugar coating.  I was kind of hoping for a snow day in that same hopeful way I used to when I was a kid, but alas. I made it out of the house the last couple of days which believe me, was such a treat after being housebound for the entire previous week.  That must have been some sort of record for me and oddly it didn't really start getting to me until the weekend, probably because I was beginning to feel less like the living dead and more like myself.  Now I feel like I'm coming out of this weird alternate dimension, and that all the craziness that befell us like a very humorless comedy of errs last week was all just a bad trippy nightmare.  Maybe because my head is clear or

jan.21 {inside + out, authentic style}

A few years ago I was asked to write a style profile, but I don't think I ever shared it with you. I've been thinking a lot about this particular aspect of how we show up in the world, about feeling sexy and real and connected to one's self (in all ways), so I wanted play more with this idea because one, I really do have a girly inclination for clothing design, trends and fashion, and two, I'm learning more about what my style really says about who I am which seems to be becoming more and more integrated and true every day.  For me, the hardest part is in finding my place between being seen and wanting to blend in, and on a day to day basis this is totally reflected in what I wear. So here is the updated edition of my style profile, and the beginning of a series on authentic style that I will be sharing with you - I have always loved being able to see into other artist's studios as it says so much about who they are, now I can't wait to peek into their wardrobes

jan.18 {LOVE}

 {LOVE, mixed media on canvas board) After a really tough week of influenza and hostile takeovers, I'm feeling really really grateful and connected to the little things.  I actually was working on a small gratitude photo journal on Tuesday (that got lost in the final process - ugh!) but the sentiments are still with me despite the dark clouds yet to clear.  So, on this sunny Friday I'll pay thanks to all the little bubbles of light that are keeping us afloat and for the LOVE that always surrounds us.  I am so, so grateful for... Alex and his unwavering fortitude and those rallying around him : : clementines and cozy blankets : : the medicine and means to all get well : : abundant support from friends and family who have sent us so much TLC this week : : sunshine today and a long weekend ahead : : the flow of words and the strength of connections here in this space : : Project Runway and Charlie & Lola : : spicy hot and sour soup : : Instagram as sustenance : : the crazy war

jan.17 {indelicate distractions}

I just woke up thinking it was Thursday and when I looked at the clock it was only 10:30pm, still Wednesday.  Could this day be any longer? Thank you to all of you who wrote and texted me regarding yesterday's PSA (I guess that would be today's actually) with your love and support around the craziness that has descended on our lives - Alex can use all that he can get at this point.  I have no idea how he's even getting up and going to work everyday through all of this.  We are taking it one moment at a time.  I totally need a distraction form all the doom and gloom around here. In the doctor's office last week, not to be confused with the visit earlier today to the same said doctor's office for the little one's now diagnosed flu- yeah, it's been a rough week - my oldest told me that I was like Dory from Finding Nemo because I have short term memory loss.  He was kind of kidding, as we were passing the time waiting for the pediatrician trying to decide who wa

jan.15 {my word of the year: shed}

In my head I have been turning over lots of potential words for this year, but over and over again I kept on bumping into one.  It's not a very pretty word so maybe that is why I passed over it more than once, but finally last night I went to good old Merriam Webster to look it up and I knew for sure it was the one. Shed :  To cause to pour forth . To diffuse or radiate; send forth or impart: shed light.  To lose by natural process: a snake shedding its skin. To rid oneself of (something not wanted or needed).  To lose a natural growth or covering by natural process. To pour forth. Since the new year and for a good part of 2012 really, I have been doing a lot of digging and rearranging.  I was having a really tough time trying to orient myself around this virtual space and the space of my own creative life.  My lack of certainty even had me thinking for a while that maybe it was a sign that it was time to move on from Wishstudio.  I tried writing under my own name for a bit creat

jan.14 {the drivel of sincerity}

Sometimes I start writing a post and it gets so heavy so fast.  That's just a function of my overactive brain that wants to be so analytical about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  I think I need to lighten things up a bit and not be quite so serious all the time because, let's face it, there is plenty of heavy and constructive thinking out there.  Don't get me wrong, I like a meaty discussion as much as the next girl but sometimes when I write a deeply thoughtful post it feels a bit like, really?  More deep thoughts?  Isn't there anything else rattling around in there, and it totally feels like I'm having a Jack Handy moment being all serious and contemplative about every topic possible.  I certainly am not at a loss for heady thoughts and sharp tools for digging out the marrow, but I feel like it's time to dim the lights and get the disco ball out for a little sinful frivolity every once in a while, don't you?  I just simply need a martini and a shameless romp instead

jan.13 {tales of desire}

Recently, I went to a story slam.  The theme for the night was "Firsts", hosted by a fairly well known and prolific sex blogger/writer and performer from NYC who invited several bold women and men to bare their own intimate tales of first sexual experiences; a phone sex worker and the first call he took, a first sweet and steamy lesbian exploration, and even someones first hilarious encounter with porn.  They were well delivered monologues, provocative, thoughtful, and honest in the way that had everyone in the room touching upon their own stories, even if only as a silent acknowledgement in their head. I'm not afraid to admit that I appreciate a well told story even of the salacious variety.  I don't mean the bodice ripping, suggestive Harlequin novels (not that there's anything wrong with that if that's your thing), but the deep, gritty stories of intimacy and trust, self awareness and real, dirty desire told by brave, intelligent, and everyday people just l

jan.11 {less holding more}

The winter light is ethereal, clear and as sweetly colored as Easter candy in dazzling but soft pink, blue and yellow splendor.  It's a show I never get tired of.  But something else around here is shifting.  There is a big change on the horizon, I can feel it almost as sure as the nudge of a new day.  Since the For Sale sign appeared in front of the house next door, a home that sits right behind us which for about 50 weeks out of the year is quiet and empty, things have felt untethered.  It's always seemed like our own private little parcel of water and sky when I sit at the table and sip my morning coffee and write staring out at the ever changing sea.  Our many windows that face the water are always uncovered to let the view in, and I've always wondered if people across the basin can see into our little lives on display, bare and open.  It's something I've never really minded, but with the thought of peering eyes so close next door I know it just won't feel t

jan.10 {the belly of the beast}

Today is one of those days where I wish I had control of the outcome. My son came home from school not feeling well yesterday, flopped onto the couch and barely moved, only to eat a spicy tuna melt, until it was time to go to bed.  I think it might have been he was caving under the amount of homework that was loaded on this week, an unusual pile of tests, projects and worksheets all due tomorrow which at this point probably won't get done.  I'm not so terribly concerned about that.  I'm more worried that he actually is sick and will be home from school today with some icky malaise.  At least he escaped the round of lice that went around his class recently - thank the powers that be for that (!) because I think that might be a motherly job that I would epically fail at.  That. Is. So. Gross.  We'd also have to cancel the trip to the children's museum that I have been promising my youngest for what seems like forever.  Every day he has been asking, "Is it Thursda

jan.9 {sex at dawn and other related tidbits}

It's so interesting to me how sex is in the forefront of the collective unconscious these days.  Maybe it's the whole 50 Shades phenomenon, which even though the literary merits of these books fall a bit short the societal buzz it has created is quite fascinating.  Maybe it's the Aquarian age coming around again, free thinking, free(er) love, and exploring new and more sustainable ways of doing things.  Including sex and relationships. Whether it's BDSM or open relationships, the conversation in mainstream culture is shifting a bit.  Even Bust Magazine featured an article about modern day open marriages in their fall issue (Aug/Sept 2012), and I recently watched a news interview with a local poly couple and all their metas, now all the hype about Sex At Dawn .  If you are intrigued by this book (and the new cover is so much more inviting) there is a great interview from a couple of years ago with the book's headlining author, Christopher Ryan, with sex advice column

jan.7 {in pursuit of morning pages}

I am one of those people who sleeps until the last possible moment I can.  Take for example this very morning, when I heard the call come from the room next door and I answered groggily, "Be right there!" and then dozed for another minute or two.  I always have been an unabashed sleeper, except maybe when I was little, but I remember laying in bed as a teenager on those early school mornings, peeking one eye open only to look at the clock by my bed to see if I had another precious minute to doze.  Every second counted.  I could push it to T-10 minutes easily, and I often did, savoring my warm bed for a few more seconds. I heard somewhere that the power that it takes you to propel yourself out of bed in the morning is the same energetic arc that is needed to get yourself to do most anything.  I'm not sure where I'm going with that nugget of information, but it has stuck in my mind since coming across it.  It's not that I don't want to get out of bed (most morni

jan.5 {faith in what is}

I know that I cannot stay quiet for long.  The words bubble up.  The colors sing to me.  The the moments urge me to capture and savor them so I can remember and take them with me into the ever after. I know that the first sip of coffee in the morning feels like a new beginning, a warm embrace, and deep well of possibility for the day ahead, and that I am so grateful for this gift of tiny but extraordinary hope. I know that there are people in my life who are so completely full of grace and love, magic and warmth, laughter and wisdom, that I can't stray far from their nurturing light.  They hold me to the Earth and remind me of who I am. I know that I am a mother, a creator, a connector, a wife, a lover, a child, a wanderer, a seeker, a narrator, a free-spirit, a life artist, and that all these facets are simply labels that can't ever really define the entirety of who I am. I know that I need the fallow season, to go inward, to stop spinning, so my world can still and I can see

jan.3 {home}

Lately, the theme song for this family has been "Home" by Phillip Phillips .  The boys request it constantly (much to my husbands chagrin), singing to it, dancing to it, and wanting it played louder and louder.  I have to admit, I do like the song.  The lyrics have a certain inspired sensibility that definitely speak to me and it seems to fit with the emerging theme of re-centering and tucking in close to what matters most, which is exactly where I'm at.  It tickles me that this is the tune that has captured their hearts... Hold on, to me as we go. As we roll down this unfamiliar road. And although this wave is stringing us along. Just know you're not alone, Cause I'm going to make this place your home. Settle down, it'll all be clear. Don't pay no mind to the demons, They fill you with fear. The trouble it might drag you down. If you get lost, you can always be found. The "ahhh, ah, ah" part is the best, especially hearing it come out of my lit

jan.2 {a new year}

It's time for a fresh start. I'm ready to put the Christmas decorations away, and clean up the holiday clutter.  The light around the island has been beautiful these days and has inspired me to slowly wade back into this online world by snapping some sweet winter photos.  Gratitude for the moments is always a way back in. I created this site way back when, right after my fall trip to Squam while I was still in the waxing flow of creativity.  It's been sitting here waiting for me until now, waiting for just the right time to become what it wants to be and so I have finally decided to return to my roots of one simple blog.  A new year and a new home. Pretty I think, too. It was a daunting 2012 for so many reasons, so this year I'm getting back to basics.  A smaller online presence (the Wishstudio facebook page will be gone in 14 days, so please friend me on my personal page to stay in touch!), a deeper focus on creative living and connecting, and a turn towards more shar