Recently, I went to a story slam. The theme for the night was "Firsts", hosted by a fairly well known and prolific sex blogger/writer and performer from NYC who invited several bold women and men to bare their own intimate tales of first sexual experiences; a phone sex worker and the first call he took, a first sweet and steamy lesbian exploration, and even someones first hilarious encounter with porn. They were well delivered monologues, provocative, thoughtful, and honest in the way that had everyone in the room touching upon their own stories, even if only as a silent acknowledgement in their head.
I'm not afraid to admit that I appreciate a well told story even of the salacious variety. I don't mean the bodice ripping, suggestive Harlequin novels (not that there's anything wrong with that if that's your thing), but the deep, gritty stories of intimacy and trust, self awareness and real, dirty desire told by brave, intelligent, and everyday people just like you and me... mothers, wives, lawyers, artists and the like, who are being honest and open about a universal part of life that is still considered so taboo.
Some of it is because I absolutely believe part of modern feminism is embracing and understanding our own sexuality in a way that is fun, satisfying and not so focused on the judgements of why but diving more into the journey of how. It is an integral piece of the puzzle of a well integrated and whole-hearted self love - discovering and asking for the kind of physical intimacy we crave - and then letting go of the shame around all of it. All. Of. It. As with anything else in this life, if you don't nurture it, you lose it, and why wouldn't you want more pleasure in your life? I truly want you to have more pleasure in your life.
When I was in my early twenties I bought a word processor. Do you remember? Those crazy computer-like things that looked like a typewriter but allowed you to see your writing on a screen and save your work, long before laptops were around. I bought this funny piece of technology specifically because I had a piece of erotica that was swirling in my head, and I needed to get it out. And so I did. Since then I have written several stories of the same variety at different points of my life, and I'm thinking of sending these stories out into the world if only to lend another female voice to a genre that is so male-centric and still riddled with so much negativity for women. It isn't that I want the world to know what is in my erotic brain or my private life for that matter, but there is a deep and honest desire to acknowledge this very unspoken part of our personal growth as girls who are aiming to walk the walk of authentic living.
So I'm trying to find an honorable yet safe way in, and I want to take you with me (if you are brave and wanting to go there).