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jan.7 {in pursuit of morning pages}

I am one of those people who sleeps until the last possible moment I can.  Take for example this very morning, when I heard the call come from the room next door and I answered groggily, "Be right there!" and then dozed for another minute or two.  I always have been an unabashed sleeper, except maybe when I was little, but I remember laying in bed as a teenager on those early school mornings, peeking one eye open only to look at the clock by my bed to see if I had another precious minute to doze.  Every second counted.  I could push it to T-10 minutes easily, and I often did, savoring my warm bed for a few more seconds.

I heard somewhere that the power that it takes you to propel yourself out of bed in the morning is the same energetic arc that is needed to get yourself to do most anything.  I'm not sure where I'm going with that nugget of information, but it has stuck in my mind since coming across it.  It's not that I don't want to get out of bed (most mornings), in fact most often I am ready and ripe to get going and find the rhythm of the day, it's the transition i think.  Maybe it's because I'm not the one who decides when I wake up, my kids are.  When I hear the little one calling for me, that's when my day begins, usually around 6-6:30am.  The funny thing is that those rare mornings where I do have the power to  wake of my own volition I still wake up around the same time!  It is all some crazy mental mind trick, or as we call it in the grown-up world, perspective.

To have control or to not have control.

So I have been thinking a lot lately about morning pages.  It is a practice I have often pondered, especially being someone who is most mentally fresh in the morning.  I imagine it might help my creativity to purge thoughts and words onto a page every day, and I have often thought of this blog as a similar kind of practice.  It's not the same, I know, but it is what I can manage to string together given the hectic morning schedule.  To actually write morning pages I would need to wake up everyday before the boys which would require an alarm to be set to ungodly hours.  I'm a morning person, but not that much of a morning person.  Not like Alex who wakes up every day at 4am so he can be the early bird at the gym.  Overachiever.  No, I get it.  It's a necessity for him, benefits outweighing the dreaded early alarm.  I'm just not sure if it's the same kind of necessity for me to shift my day around to hand write in the wee hours of the morning.  Still thinking on that one, but I'm pretty sure it'll never happen, at least not until my kids are teenagers and I'm trying to rouse them out of their beds.  Some sacrifices can certainly be made, others are simply not meant to be no matter how idyllic and important they sound.  I think this is just one of those things.