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mar.21 {idiosyncratic routine}

I have a lot of things swirling in my head these days... art projects, family stuff, self care stuff, work related projects, Easter/Passover prep and so on.  I have little notes stashed in many places trying to capture and organize things; my phone, my moleskin, the calendar, my inspiration notebook, the refrigerator door, and it all seems to be flying about me like a swarm of butterflies at the moment. Things are a bit unruly.

Anchored pretty much in a similar routine day to day, each one can feel so different with a bit of this and a bit of that thrown into the open spaces.  I'm grateful for this (truly!) as I have a very low tolerance for boredom, but it also makes for a bit of a wild ride.  With a penchant for staying organized, disorganization really slows me down.  In general I need order to function efficiently and ultimately feel well, so when things are scattered so am I and that makes me want to just lay down and take a long nap amidst the chaos.

The new rhythm of spring has not quite settled in, and the little one keeps asking me "why we are eating dinner at daytime?"  Trying to explaining the concept of time in addition to daylight savings to a 3 year old is, as you can imagine, endearing but quite difficult.  We all need some routine and predictability and I am trying to gently figure out how much is a good amount, for me, for the kids, for my husband and I, before the busy spring and summer mode really revs up to full speed.

Being boxed in and over scheduled is not good either and I am definitely in the camp of less planning and more free time and wiggle room, especially in the warmer months where an impromptu walk to the beach can be an absolute life (and sanity) saver.

So what are our core needs?  What do we want to add, where can we fit it in, and what are we willing to sacrifice...?  Sometimes when things are really shifting and changing, like things are now, I have to simply focus on the fundamentals because that is probably what is out of whack and making things feel overwhelming in the first place.  Not the most exciting but incredibly and indisputably necessary (BIG reminder to self).  Life to me is all about the sprinkles and I always want to frost and decorate the cake before it cools.  But that never works of course, and everything just ends up a hot mess.  Know better and do better - I'm trying, but it's hard not to get distracted by shiny things.