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may 1 {unshiny moments}

This post is inspired by Celina, who suggested that in the wake of all this talk about social media sharing, we throw caution to the wind and share a bit of the gritty and real imperfection.  Just like Celina, it's hard to post this unshiny photo, which actually kind of surprises me.  I didn't really know how that would feel so tender, especially where I do often write about sensitive things.  I guess an image does speak a thousand words, and it feels kind of awkward and unpleasant to throw this image into the mix of my other more composed and polished shots of pretty things.  Yes, already this exercise is a good one.

As far as my unshiny things (and there are many in my life right now aside from this sink full of dirty dishes, which I plan to tackle after writing this post), some of which I actually have already talked about in this space and others tuck into the wings.  What you can't see is that my life is in a really challenging place that is growing uncertainty and the possibility of some big life changes coming sooner than we thought - questions still loom about my husband's job and his quickly fading happiness there, my search for some bit of regular employment that will both fit into my life and is somewhat enjoyable (a challenging combination) is ongoing, new information that creates an uncertain future about our residency in this place that I have finally grown to love, and ironically just wrote about the other day, landed in my in-box in the last 24 hours, and so on.  Things are really off kilter and so the tenor of this household is being held together by duct tape and the pure force of will.

I'm thankful that I do have sight of good and shiny things, and I have my rose colored glasses to help make everything not look quite so bleak.  Gratefully, I can focus on the happy which is what is keeping me afloat - playing in the warm sunny weather with my kids on the back deck, creating a few soulful gatherings with my peeps, exciting projects in the mix, and simple things like lunching with my mom (today, yay!), library playgroup, TBall happenings, summer vacation getting closer and closer, and a crazy string of family birthdays and celebrations about to go off rapid-fire like fireworks on the 4th of July.

All is not lost.  This family has a fortitude deep at the roots that has proven to be stronger than any unshiny moment, and I will keep on sharing both sides of the journey.  Because to be real about what's not so good helps to create connection and solidarity and encouragement, super powers we all need, and can share with one another, to help get through the hard stuff.


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