Skip to main content

happily ever after

This October, Alex and I will be celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary!  It's hard to believe.  A milestone for sure.  My mom and dad have graciously offered to take the boys so we can go on a mini get-away.  I think the last time we had a date was last winter when we went out for dim sum and saw a movie, and despite the mediocre film it was blissful just to have uninterrupted conversation and simply hold hands.  I vaguely remember the concept.

So, New York City... here we come!  Ahhh, I love this city so.  A real romance unto it's own.

I'm not exactly sure what we will do there.  Maybe catch some good indie music in some little dive-y bar, maybe see a show (this one has me a bit intrigued and the wicked irony is not lost on me), walk around central park holding hands and kissing in the shadowy corners, eat good food for sure, hit a few tourist attractions maybe (I've never seen any in all my years visiting), shop for some goodies which we both love to do, or just catch up on sleep without a little body between us, or not sleep at all!  The possibilities are endless.

We did decide that while we are there we want to get anniversary tattoos - a word written lengthwise on each of our wedding ring fingers in lieu of our traditional rings.  It will be a unique and meaningful "just us" sentiment without being too Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee biker wedding-ish.   I think that even the experience will become one of those shared moments and memories that will hold us together and endure over time.  And what if beyond all odds we get divorced, you ask (because we did ask the same question, of course)?  The fact is, we wouldn't consider something like this if we were at all in doubt of our commitment and love.  We have overcome so many epic challenges in our marriage and always have come out stronger on the other side.  There is much more to say about this, how we have learned to trust, communicate and understand each other so completely, and I will probably write about it closer to our milestone day.

There is also the fact that we've turned into that couple who never wears their wedding bands for one reason or another.  For a while I was thinking about getting new rings to resonate more with our now, because times and tastes change.  I went from wearing my traditional engagement ring and simple wedding band to wearing a silver posy ring that Alex had given me one year as a gift, to most of the time wearing nothing at all.  He's done the same kind of shifting around and going naked at times as well. This idea is as practical as it is romantic, and I love that I won't ever have to worry about losing it!

So plans are being made, and the search for just the right word and tattoo artist is on!  I can't wait to see how it all comes to be.


Popular posts from this blog

Inner Alchemy Cards: Build A New World Deck

Our next make-your-own card adventure is finally here! Inner Alchemy Collage: Build A New World Deck (online) is an artful exploration of language, learning, inspiration, and collaboration, that delves into important ideas around activism and systems of oppression. This is a way for us to examine and disrupt harmful dominant narratives, tell new stories, and inspire one another to use our creativity and personal power to help build the collective world we all want to live in! In the end you will have a beautiful and meaningful handmade deck of 35 oracle cards to use as unique a tool for guidance and reflection whenever you need it.  I'm your host,  Mindy Tsonas Choi , an artist, organizer, radical belonging activist, and the founder of the Be Seen Project - a grassroots initiative resourcing BIPOC artist and makers working in activism. Join me along with other stellar artists, makers and co-creators who have also been exploring social justice and activism as part of their creativ

The Cost of Selling Belonging

As someone who use to sell belonging and believed I was creating something universally magical , I now have fresh eyes on the harm that I once caused. I understand what can (and was) incredibly healing and impactful for some, was at the same time excluding, marginalizing and undervaluing others. First, to anyone who ever felt like they did not belong to anything I created because they were unable to afford it or felt like they did not have the social capitol to join -  I am sincerely sorry for not seeing you sooner .   To our entire creative community as a whole, I urge us all to think about belonging in new and equitable ways, and to do the work of dismantling these hierarchical structures that leave so many people out of the circle. We all deserve to have access to creativity and belonging, and I'd go so far as to say both are fundamental basic human needs and rights. Selling belonging can look like... Creating spaces and experiences that can only be accessed by buying in at one,

what's in a name?

It’s May 14, 2020 and I’m on a transnational call with a social worker and translator of the SOS Children’s Village offices in South Korea. It’s 7pm my time and 9am the next day in Korea, which adds to the surreal quality of the moment. It is my first long distance call following my inquiry with the organization documented to be my first place of entry into the system, found in my Korean records (the acquisition of which is an incredible story in and of itself). It was July 21, 1972 and I was 5 months old. It’s a small miracle the organization still exists, and an even bigger blessing that they took such time and care in searching for information and to talk it all through with me in person. I try not to cry as the call connects. What I learn is a lot of small details about that fateful evening which amount to nothing traceable, but still feel like huge missing pieces of my life. I was left near the entrance around 7pm under a small tree, wrapped in a blanket with only a name scribble