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underneath it all

"underneath it all" 14x11 mixed media on canvas

Life is so layered.  It's how I live, paint, write and experience it all.  Because there is always so much more than meets the eye:

This is the year he begins carrying text books, the year he moves upstairs at school with the "big kids" way beyond his years "in the circle" where his little brother will be begin next week.  He's come so far. I'm ridiculously proud of him.

We went to the Lantern Festival in town Saturday night and I posted some photos that were simply sublime, which felt so at odds with where we were.  Moments of beauty amidst the less than perfect.  The truth?  It was buggy.  And hot.  And my kids were totally not into it, and tired and cranky.  But it was beautiful none the less.

I'm nervous about how the zine is going to come out.  It's at the printer, and I'm anticipating its arrival tomorrow with something just shy of terror mixed with blissful excitement.  Kind of like giving birth. Different baby, same feelings.  Trying to be gentle with my expectations and appraised of my accomplishment.

The littlest one is finally going through his terrible-twos.  He's four and getting his wings ready.  Where'd my sweet babe go?  Okay, he's still sweet *most* of the time.  But definitely not a babe anymore.  He's so ready for what's next.

I have not written in my gratitude journal in a while.  August will be a wash, but that doesn't mean that I wasn't at all grateful.  Just lazy and sun-baked, like a sleeping summer gypsy on the beach.  That is why they call it a practice after all.  Time to get back to it.

Alex and I hit an old bump over the weekend, one that's been on our path for so many years now.  We learn, we do better... we forget, we do over... we forgive.

I think I might have a slight office supply addiction.   Or maybe it's an ink addiction.  Yup, that's me, the strange girl in isle 5 of Staples smelling all the new notebooks.  They're as good as fresh lilacs.  Just another reason to love this time of year.

I love my life.  Even though I'm sometimes overwhelmed and moody.  Even when it doesn't go as planned and falls apart at the seams.  I love this life for every ounce of goodness that it offers making my heart feel like it's overflowing.  Because it is.  Imperfections and all.


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