How is it possibly November 25th? I've been down the rabbit hole of icky monthly hormones, reading The Hunger Games like a fiend - initially to see if it was appropriate for my 10 year old to read and got totally hooked - and huddled under warm blankets for the last several days of icy cold weather. My mojo went a bit haywire.
Just 10 days ago, we were all driving in the car on the way to a family gathering and I was feeling kind of off. I asked Alex to check when the full moon was because I could feel that intense tugging on my energy, and he gave me that sideways, "seriously?" reluctant smile. It was, indeed, that time. Extra confirmation that I wasn't going crazy. At least not all of my own accord.
My cycle is pretty regular, 28-29 days, spot on. The moon shifts into 14.77 days of light and 14.77 days of darkness to complete its 29+ day cycle. It is not lost on me that my ovaries and la Luna are quite often aligned to a T. I laughed and told Alex it's because of my watery constitution. I am an Aquarius after all. I literally feel the dynamic ebb and flow in my bones. I think I've always been sensitive to this kind of meta, I was just never really that aware of it. The precise synchronicity of my body and the moon makes me think that there must be a lot more to it all, more clues as to how to take care of my weary spirit during those times of the month when my energy takes a nosedive and pulls away like the astronomical tide.
A big piece of that wisdom, what I am feeling my way through from month to month since going off all medication, I think is in trying not to fight it.
There is a deep comfort in trusting my body's knowing and letting it do it's thing. I think a lot of the discomfort during the week of hormonal upheaval is in my own effort to control it, to avoid it, to redirect it, and the more and more I pay attention to what my body needs the easier it is to honor the reality - of feeling sad, of feeling tired, of feeling overwhelmed during that energetic drop from day 21 through day 28. Throw in all the zillions of variables brought on by a busy life, and I can see how the recipe for a big disaster cake could be so easily in the making if I don't slow down and move with care and gentle intention when I most need to.
So here I am, day 3 and the last quarter moon, a time for releasing, letting go and forgiving. My body knows the way even when I don't.
And this is exactly where I am today... releasing and letting go.