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Showing posts from December, 2013

my word of the year and the season of fire

I heard once, that the closer you are to your truest self the closer you become to the people whom you most admire.  This measure of truth seems right-on as over the last twelve months I had many close encounters with those whom I adore.  The story of my year was all about daring to stand in my own light to earnestly dig through one wide, messy and wild heart - my own - dusting off and examining the pieces in a bare pool of light, and sharing all that I found. In 2013, I came face to face with the Artist who was buried beneath years of words, the Space Holder who was at first uncertain and shy, and the divine Feminist, the phoenix rising, who's unapologetic, wise, and full of sass.  There were strong themes of home, and connection, and vulnerability, and authentic passion, as well as a new path of motherhood as I surprisingly seemed to have emerged a survivor of toddlerhood and a decade of being a stay at home mom. Ultimately, I learned to make peace with fear. My word of

easy would be good, but it's just not our path

... which is exactly what I wrote in a text to Alex this morning after a bit of a wrenching day yesterday.   This morning, there's a jumble in my head that wants to be written out... about love and pain and connection and resilience, and healing, but I'm not totally sure what the words want to say because none of them are tangible.  They aren't even solid feelings, just a huge collision of the mundane and extraordinary stuff of this life.   ... it is new circumstances that open up old wounds that throw us back into forgiveness over and over again for just how human and how complex we all are.   ... it's feeling that invisible web of indomitable strength and intimate connectedness always there to catch us each and every time we fall.  It is the unmistakable importance of family being there to step in and say, "I've got you.  I'm here for you.  Life is hard, but it will be okay.", and how intricately nuanced yet achingly simple this rea