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Showing posts from January, 2014

desire finds me, every time

* fire and ice * Sometimes I have to just turn it all off, shut it all out to try to balance on what feels like a head of a pin, lest I teeter in any direction and the entirety of my being comes crashing down. Sometimes. It can feel desperate and wild... but I've learned that I need that crevasse to fall into every once in a while, to be swallowed whole by decadent darkness in order to find my way back to myself.  It is as elemental to my being as air and water. Alice In Wonderland syndrome.  Falling down the rabbit hole.  Burning so hot and fast that sometimes I just turn to ash.   Always, the first sign of re-entry is the stirring of desire... a quiet yearning to re-connect, to be seen, to create, to touch, to feel again... Desire, is what saves me every time. And this part where it is all tenderly opening... ripening... softening... offering... feeding my life in warm and gently coaxing gulps, feels like a gift, one I cherish, each and every time. The best pa

covens circling and witches rising

Themes of The Witch are flying around my world, sans broomstick that is, and have me stewing on badass girl-power, covens and community, alchemy - the transformation of something ordinary into something extraordinary , and this...  "The young witch is first and foremost a sensual, sexual creature, her power centered directly in her femininity. She is... self-assured, powerful... A siren, her feminine allure is more powerful than the strongest man’s fist."   (Susana Ellis) I feel this divine feminine energy gathering and rising throughout our own coven. It's so fascinating how the collective (un)conscious is in such synchronicity all the time, like how it is tuned to a specific frequency and all the energy pours forth into similar thoughts, desires, and manifestations in all of us. There is something about being on this crazy journey together, we girls ripening into our middle years, where the ether has helped to conjure a connection we have never been able to t

can we please stop passing down a legacy of shame?

As adults, one huge reward for having done the whole growing up thing is that we come to a place in our lives where we finally can own our sexual agency. Meaning, we can make decisions about what role sex and our own sexuality plays in our life. Unapologetically.  I think we often forget this truth. Luckily, we're not in 9th grade anymore where the girls who "did it" were labeled sluts and the girls who didn't were "teases" and "prudish".  It makes me sad that these seem to be the only points of reference we learn about while growing up, that if you choose sex the cost of that is often a boatload of shame.  The crazy thing is that these beliefs often follow us into our adult life without even realizing it.  We are so programed to the good/bad mentality around sex, that we don't even realize how our own views are skewed. Sexual agency and values should be taught alongside the birds and the bees, and this antiquated way we educate child

deep in the root chakra

Chinatown, NYC (channeling some red) I'm in the afterglow of so much love. Again. The thought that runs through me and through me, over and over:   love makes us brave . Yes.  YES! I'm in the throws of recalibrating into this new year.  Already, I feel a little behind wrapping up projects from 2013, planning for what's to come, and grounding in what has turned out to be a bit if a mucky start, trying to begin anew with a clear head and the breath of new intentions.  It is happening, but the transition, unlike last year, has been messy.  I never really felt that fresh, clean slate feeling, and I think part of that is that I am walking into January with such raw awareness of the work that needs to be done this go around.  I'm embracing all the yuck that I know I have to move through, and I've been bumping into confirming signpost after signpost on the way down the rabbit hole. Even though there is consciousness, there is still a lot of resistance.

it's time to stop leaving sex out of the authentic living equation

I have been doing a lot of thinking and exploring around why this idea of talking about and advocating for women's sexual awareness is so important to me, and what it is I truly have to say on the matter.  Adopting the "feminist" moniker this year has felt like a big step toward giving myself permission to fearlessly dive into the deep end and talk about things out loud.  I'm not saying that being a feminist is all about sex - far from it - but there is a certain level clarity and bravado that must come with wearing this hat, and I can finally wear it with full confidence and understanding with how it fits into my crazy wardrobe. What I want to really delve into with women is their relationship with their own bodies.  Intimacy of the highest order. ----> how the body holds truth and wisdom, every story and memory, and every desire and possibility and creative impulse. ----> to remind women that connecting with our bodies does not just mean doing yog

the stag has appeared

Last weekend I created my 2014 Moleskine cover, a new year tradition I truly relish, imbibing it with my word of the year   ---> sanctuary <---   and it wasn't until I was finished that I realize the Stag appeared along with my familiar animal spirit guide, the Hawk, my gentle skyward reminder to keep my eye on the bigger picture.  I always let the messages and colors of this fortuitous collage reveal themselves and they always seem to fortell the year just as it's meant to be.  So when I did a little research into this mythical creature, I was delighted but not surprised to find these bits of wisdom: "Deer's medicine includes gentleness in word, thought and touch. The ability to listen, grace and appreciation for the beauty of balance. Understanding of what's necessary for survival, power of gratitude and giving, ability to sacrifice for the higher good, connection to the woodland goddess, alternative paths to a goal.   Maybe the most effective w

the name game

The mist rose off of the water and ice today as temperatures started to drop once again from unseasonably moderate to below freezing, as we head into night.  This is home.  A wild tundra and place of extremes, a hearty cross section of my life here on this earth full of vim and vigor and constant change.  I don't know what I would do without it.  I was one of those kids who always moved around her bedroom, scooting my bureau and desk across the floor, beloved knickknacks balanced on top of all available surfaces not wanting to take the time to actually pack things up, and shimmying my bed single handedly into a new corner to catch a new vibration.  I crave that shift of energy.  And so here I am, slowly unpacking and rearranging my new virtual space on the cusp of this brand new year.  Ahhh.  It feels like home, despite the fact that it has not been formally addressed. Actually, a funny thing happened on my way to the domain registry.  I realized there was a lapse in my owner