Skip to main content

it's time to stop leaving sex out of the authentic living equation

I have been doing a lot of thinking and exploring around why this idea of talking about and advocating for women's sexual awareness is so important to me, and what it is I truly have to say on the matter.  Adopting the "feminist" moniker this year has felt like a big step toward giving myself permission to fearlessly dive into the deep end and talk about things out loud.  I'm not saying that being a feminist is all about sex - far from it - but there is a certain level clarity and bravado that must come with wearing this hat, and I can finally wear it with full confidence and understanding with how it fits into my crazy wardrobe.

What I want to really delve into with women is their relationship with their own bodies.  Intimacy of the highest order.

----> how the body holds truth and wisdom, every story and memory, and every desire and possibility and creative impulse.

----> to remind women that connecting with our bodies does not just mean doing yoga and eating well and loving our curves and imperfections, it means exploring on every level what makes our bodies come alive, feel pleasure and truly be loved.

----> to understand our own beliefs and experiences around sex and how they shape us, but most importantly, how they hold us back from desire and the pleasure we deserve.

----> and empower us in our own choice-making in what we do with, and what is best for our own bodies, sexually and otherwise.

It is time to have these conversations.  We are ready.  As conscious creators and soul workers we have been laying the groundwork for years, learning to feed our creative spirit, learning to love and accept our hips and bellies, and growing the seeds of our own truths in most areas of our lives.

... it's time to explore authentic pleasure and find your own declaration of of desire...

THIS, is what I'm digging into.

And there is a lot of shit that can get in the way.  Sex has no allies.  It can feel like hostile territory to step into - social stigmas, religious beliefs, negative experiences, misinformation, embarrassment and guilt, and having no safe spaces to have these conversations can shut us completely down before we even try.

It can be scary.

But I am here to tell you it is worth the journey!  And I am here for you.  We can be here for each other.  And it's enough to simply start by having this conversation with yourself.

It's not about talking explicitly about sexual practices or experiences, it's about allowing ourselves to be in that intimate place with ourselves and to seek out the kind of pleasure we truly crave.

It is time to drop the shame.

It wasn't until I admitted a sexual truth of my own to Alex (and really, to myself) 4 years ago that the door finally cracked wide open and everything changed daring us both to get real and vulnerable about pleasure.  The result of going out on that limb and being true to desire?  Authentic intimacy with myself and my husband that I never thought was possible.  It gets easier and better, the more truth you invite in.  But you already know that.

You can either live in authentic pleasure or not.  It is a choice.  And it is work.  But I believe we all have the right to real pleasure in all parts of our lives - in our work, our relationships, our creative and spiritual adventures, and in our bodies.

So you should know, I'm done with compartmentalizing authentic living into just the shiny and pretty areas, and using euphemisms to shy away from libido real sex talk.  Best-life and whole living practices need to include the whole package (hence, the term), and I want to share with you what I've learned from my own experiences... that in the gritty depths of our own wise-desire (and the wisdom is there for all of us!) there is an explosion of truth and light and self-compassion that can only come from trusting, understanding and making peace with our own pleasure ---> the kind between our legs and between our ears.  They are all connected!  And there is no authenticity in avoidance.

And... there is a delicious feast to be had!


Post a Comment