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this one time, at band camp...

#notesfromtherocket by Swirly

I spent the better part of this weekend surround by some pretty sexy people.  And by sexy I don't mean the scantily clad, primped, polished and plasticized PR version of sex (well there was a little of that, maybe), but I mean more the real life version that included every size shape and color sexuality comes in, namely myself and about 400 other regular people.

If you've never been to a sex-related conference, it's incredibly similar to going to a creative event except everyone is geeking out on all aspects of sexuality rather than creativity.   There's a stark authenticity to it all that is so very similar.  It's not dark or dirty.  It really is quite the opposite.  So I thought I'd outline just how similar these two worlds really are.

10 Things Sex Events and Creative Events Have in Common:

1.  It's all about connection.  Look closely and you will see that both creativity and sexuality are all about connecting with Self and then connecting with others.  It begins with knowing or being curious about who you are and then exploring and meeting others who are pursuing similar interests on all plains - spiritual, mental and physical.

2.  There are amazing teachers.   The people who lead the charge are well versed in their field and have a passion for what they share.  It's a space of deep learning and sharing, of reciprocity and abundance.  In both communities, this is often how I wind my way in, following threads of connection and deep respect and admiration for those who truly know their shit.

3.  People get naked.  Actually and metaphorically, whatever your body type and whatever your story.  And it's in breaking down these barriers that all the magic happens.

4.  There are a plethora of new things to try.  These events are like ripe feasts, and there is so much to sample, do and see!  You find new ways of enjoying the practices you already know, as well as delicious new delicacies to try such as making herbal remedies or how to tell your story, to how to safely cut off clothing, connect through touch, or tie your partner up.

5.  Kindreds are found.  Once in this deep and open space of sharing, inevitably you meet people who you simply resonate with, who get you, who see you and in turn help you see yourself more clearly.  There is no greater gift.

6.  There is an abundance of joy and laughter to be had.  While there is an air sincerity about all there is to learn and experience, none of it is serious.  Let's just say I've witness skinny dipping, dramatic lip syncing, rubber chickens, hula hooping, amazing dress up clothes, some crazy word play... all the sum of pure unbridled JOY.  And, oh the stories!  This is as real as it gets, people.

7.  We learn more about ourselves.  The take-aways are always huge at these events, and the greatest is simply an expansion and deeper acceptance of self which leads to new adventures and exploration.  It's a beautiful thing for sure.

8.  There's awesome swag.  Handmade journals, knitted pretties, hand-dyed rope, coveted tote bags, gorgeous jewelry, satin corsets, organic lube, one-of-a-kind adornments, and loads of unique goodies to make us look and feel our best from the inside out.

9.  It's cathartic.  In the creative world we call it re-entry.  In the sex-pos community it's often referred to con-drop.  Both describe the tricky transition of leaving a space that is so focused, pure and authentic that integration back into the mundane day to day can be difficult to navigate.  In both realms it's dealt with with oodles of self care and gentleness.

10.  You want to do it again.  These sort of gatherings are so powerful and so popular, they are cropping up everywhere.  Each event has it's own flavor and intention, but they all share these similar qualities of community, education, and enrichment.  All it takes is just one to get your groove on, and why wouldn't you?  It is so worth it.


  1. YES! I attended a sex convention in Vancouver, are so right ! On all points here !!

    1. oh, i love having another opine!!! thank you so much for the happy wave!!! xoxo


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