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Showing posts from June, 2014

and then there's the disconnect

Over the past few days, Alex and I have been working to resolve a broken cell phone catastrophe.  Luckily, when I got him his updated phone last year for his birthday I also bought the insurance (which I don't usually do), but knowing this particular user and his device track record, let's just say I didn't hesitate.  So while troubleshooting, and insurance claim filing, and writing each other through facebook instead of texting, we've been pretty disconnected. Mercury retrograde ends tomorrow and hopefully the new phone will arrive, and all will be right in the world again. But it hasn't completely been about the phone.  We've been treading an ebb in our relationship too.  It happens.  Once in a blue moon. Where the little things niggle their way in and become bigger things, feed the distance, if we let them grow unchecked.  And before we know it, we are sort of avoiding each other and the hard conversation that needs to happen in order to get over the

summer lovin'

Summertime is sultry surrender to all that is ripening and just so damn FULL.  Our garden is overflowing with fresh greens, the schedule seeps past all the strict boundaries and edges of our regular routine, and we wander from day to day in spontaneity and sensual wonder.  Life feels like a wide window thrown open to possibility and light, all wrapped in such delicious ease that you lose track of what hour and day it is.  I love that feeling. Here's a bit of what's going on for us this summer: Reading ::  I'm deep into the first book of The Magicians , an edgy and grown up version of a Harry Potter-ish tale that's also a nod to C.S. Lewis's, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.  With my oldest, I'm co-reading The Hunger Games after a year of begging us to somehow engage with this story.  I think the movie is still beyond him, but reading this book together seems to be a happy medium that is inspiring some good conversations.  My little man is happy ge

on being a sex positive cheerleader

Before I claimed, simply, Feminist, part of my byline descriptor was 'sex positive cheerleader' .  This subheading still rings true.  I love to rah, rah, rah on empowering women's sexual exploration and discovery because it leads to discovery of so many other core truths.  Nothing makes me more happy than peeling away the layers in delicious ways, but this thoughtful post  got me thinking about my practices, and so as a responsible activist/teacher/storyteller I want my intent to be clear and not misunderstood.  Especially with such touchy (no pun intended) subject matter. It is not my intention to say that sex is awesome and the end-all and be-all, all of the time (it so isn't!), or that sex is even for everyone, because I know that it's not.  My passion about what I share in the sexual realm is completely about self awareness, agency, and personal intimacy and values.  It's one of the most honest and vulnerable lenses to look at your life through, theref

keep the garden safe

The words that surfaced from the pages of the book I was making told the story of my entire weekend: love to dream be a rock star keep the garden safe it might be fun to be an explorer i think i'll just be... And so was my weekend with Sabrina , who kept the preciousness of our experience together fiercely sacred and shared her process with humor and so much openness... much like the first time I circled with her, but the lessons seeped into me in different ways pooling around the new contours of my life almost 4 years later.   So, to honor that space I'll leave you with these few thoughts and images:  of bright smears of paint, blissfully blue skies, a tribe that went on a similar but uniquely meaningful journey together.  Spilling open...wide, and in so much LOVE.

the sensuality trap

This post has been writing itself, in the back of my mind, for a while now.  It started with a conversation I had with a friend of mine a few weeks ago, who also happens to be a badass sex educator/coach, about this pervasive language of *sensuality* and how that influences and intertwines with our more complex sphere of sexuality. It was a loaded conversation, and it went something like this: Sensuality is the language we use that describes feeling.   In large part, when we talk about it, it has nothing to do with sex.  We use this word to refer to the different ways we experience pleasure in our lives... beauty, food, body, touch, sound, smell, art, sunlight, love... everything is a sensual feast.  I can't stress how much I absolutely believe in this practice - the importance of feeling your life when you are in it!  Embracing life as a sensual experience is a necessary part of wide-awake living.  Most often, it is how I navigate... by feeling my way.  It helps me expl

pride: or life somewhere over the rainbow

My husband went to his first Pride parade and celebration over the weekend, and it's been such a whirling dervish around these parts that I hadn't really stopped to think about what a milestone this really was.  Aside from lamenting over the fact that we couldn't go together, a common theme and sacrifice in our parental world of nary a babysitter as well as a life that tugs us in a zillion different directions, it wasn't until he was long gone that it really hit me. Alex is bi, and he's out.  He is in the happily-ever-after of living one of his deepest truths. Pride, is a spot-on sentiment. I'm so incredibly proud.  Even more so,  joy-filled, for him. For us. The implications of Alex being out are a little tricky for us as a married couple, as the conversations aren't as black and white as simply claiming one's own sexual orientation.  It's a paradigm shift, and one that also includes our open marriage, potentially taking talks

i want the all access pass

Life is a 3 ring circus, a juggling act, a smorgasbord of color and lights, and for a long time I felt like I had to just choose one act, or at least 1 or two faces to show the world - Mother and Creative were who I was for a long time.  And naming and claiming these helped me to grow into a more fuller version of my life, spilling over into the next area to explore, and then the next, as I grew and expanded. Having my whole life out there as one complete picture is sometimes scary, but more often it is incredibly liberating.  I'm not sure why we feel like we can only be one thing.  Labels make me a little crazy.  But I am learning more and more simply how to be Me. And so I have claimed it all...     the wish granter... the alchemist.... the chance taker... the seeker... the artist and maker... the mother.... the partner and wife... the unabashed lover... And so much more.  I can be all these thin

it was all that

{welcoming} {inviting} {enlightening} {centering} {inspiring}  {nourishing} Fresh back from the lake, and all I can say is.... ahhhhhhh!  I spent most of my time channeling right in the brightness of the twinkle lights and togetherness and less time behind the camera, but I think you can tell from these few images that Squam was its usual luminous self. Someone asked what my favorite thing is about coming here, and I answered without hesitation - it's the connections I make and the people I cross paths with.  So many gorgeous souls here doing their groove thing and shining their heart-lights.  It makes for some serious JOY. My other favorite thing, is that by circling back to this place again and again I can truly see the changes and growth in my life.  I am never the same person I was the last time I sat on the dock.  In the stillness of the lake and the quiet of the cottages, I can feel my own momentum here, how my soul has been

it's like butter and roses and a cosmic collision

In second grade I organized a grand little production of Wizard of Oz with some of my friends.  We would practice out at recess getting ready for the big debut, in my basement of course, a surprise for my mom on her birthday.  It's simply in my nature to bring people together and share the abundant revelry. Joy is better amplified through many hearts. For me, creating this kind of collective experience is just so damn rewarding, from the pre-planning to the big release and all the tiny details in between.  I love supporting the work of others and seeing how a group grows together into one unique adventure.  Something new is always left behind - a special  kind of alchemy from this cosmic energetic collision.  Juicy stuff, for sure. It's been a while since I've hosted an online  collaborative workshop, (I can't believe it's been more than 5 years since my first online gathering, a groundbreaker in some ways, the  Wishful Virtual Art Retreat !).  I've

sometimes (a reminder)

Sometimes, I can quietly stand in the rush of energy that is channeling through me with such intense calm, steadiness and happiness, feeling balanced and light with such absolute ease, I can hardly believe it. Until I can't, and then I begin to feel wobbly and anxious and uncertain in my own heart and in my own skin.  Sometimes, the day opens up to greet me with all that could be, with color and warmth and beckoning breezes that call me towards all that I am becoming. Until it all feels so big and overwhelming, that I begin to worry I won't possibly be able to find my way and start feeling lost. Sometimes, I feel like I can touch the sky, and even somehow truly know what it might feel like to be such endless, bright blue. Until I feel so small and tender and brittle, that even the tiniest breeze feels like it could blow me away. Sometimes, it all plays together like a gorgeous symphony, all the facets dancing and humming, fitt