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growing into new work

{this is just a screen shot... the video can be seen in my class. and look! oscar is my guest star}

Last night I wrapped my very first video recording for my Inner Alchemy Circle, and opened the online classroom today.  It took me three hours and a lot of takes, but once I got the hang of it, I'll be damned if it actually wasn't loads of fun!

Video is my new frontier.  My edge.  I've been avoiding it for a long time... that means no Skype dates, no Google Hangouts, not even narry a FaceTime.  I've been way behind the curve on this one.  I'm not sure why?

I think it's two fold.

First, it's simply the technological learning curve - attacking something new and figuring out the how-to, the tools needed, the user ins and outs.  While I'm no stranger to tech stuff, video has always felt really daunting and like a huge undertaking that takes a wild combination of special lighting, a camera crew, and a snazzy outfit.  Not to mention the script and the persona, and figuring a way to get around the broken webcam on the laptop I use regularly.  It felt like a lot of moving parts.

The second part is my shyness around being seen.  Of feeling comfortable and good, and happy even, in front of the camera and hearing my own voice.  It's having to be ON, energetically.  It wasn't really until last year that I even started taking and sharing selfies, so recording a video of myself felt a huge leap.

Of course the video was the very last thing on my to-do list for my ecourse, and as with many things we put off, resist, and have doubts about, it wasn't at all like I thought is was going to be.  Lord knows sharing videos isn't a groundbreaking thing, but for my own work it felt sort of epic, like I had crossed over into a whole new world.  It felt expansive, which is how I know I'm not the same person I was before I sat in front of that camera and let myself talk and get vulnerable for 15 minutes.

So there was no camera crew, just me, and the lighting was perfect a la Mother Nature and my sweet south-western facing studio, and my outfit was simple, nothing fancy.  There was very little fuss (unlike I had imagined).  And I talked and talked and talked, and it felt really good in a way that pleasantly surprised me.

How lucky are we that there are so many tools available to us to get our work out there?  I'm certainly no filmmaker, but I realized I've found my voice and I intend to use it.  And that feels powerful, like a shiny new tool in my toolbox.

I'm kind of giddy about it.


  1. Yay for you. I avoid it too....xox

    1. it wasn't as intimidating as i thought it would be... and there are lessons in the resistance i know i need to listen to. wading in slowly. xo


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