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Showing posts from November, 2015

permission to need

I have fallen deeply into the proverbial Red Tent this month. Communing with the cycles, with wise women in my life, with a necessary kind of solitude amidst so much togetherness as the energy has been really intense. I've needed to curl into myself and escape more than usual. There have been many times in my life that I have wished for an actual sacred place to go and release, during that week where sometimes I can almost hardly stand to be with myself. I've thought more than once that it would be easier for everyone in close proximity if I could just disappear during the time of the waxing moon, and return on the other side renewed and right-minded. What's been playing through my head lately is,  "manage and be responsible for your energy",  as a quiet plea to my own inner alchemist. My magic is my vibration, and I've been admittedly all over the map lately. It feels like trying to hold onto a lightning bolt. I think much of the intensity and frictio

brighter than the sun

These days, I look at my oldest son and see a shiny new mini-adult with an ancient and wise soul, who is also one of the most resilient human beings I have ever met. I do not say this lightly, or even as a proud parent. I take no credit at all for the extraordinary light of his being. In fact, I almost want to say that he has triumphed in ways in spite of my mothering imperfections. Some people are given a life of challenge, and in those challenges they will take on a life of suffering. The kind of suffering that may not be overt, but is more like an invisible net cast over dreams and feelings and truths that keep the heart contained and life small. Not him. This is his gift and superpower, a way of projecting some kind of potent force field protecting him against all the negativity that's both a permeable membrane for love yet resistant to toxins. In the face of all that is challenging for him on a day to day basis, he is thriving. I mean, like crazy. And I don't mean the e