Skip to main content

the lovers, the dreamers, and me

{photo by Alex}

Oh, the difference a year can make. This time last June was our family's first adventure into Boson for Pride. We were ready to show up and include the kids. What felt tender and a little scary even, was a huge step forward for all of us. Are we doing the right thing? - the eternal question on a parent's mind. There were a lot of new conversations, questions, curiosities, and probably even uncertainties. Even Alex was stepping out in bigger and braver ways to be the kind of man and father he believes in. It meant so much to stand beside him. To see him and love him in all the ways. It still does.

Though time shifts all things, and this year's parade was different for all of us. Still celebratory. Still questions. But the conversations expand and feel more rooted as we all integrate information with experience. 

At 6, he has not yet asked about how babies are made, but love, he understands. He is learning to question the confines of gender and cultural expectations. He wants to wear nail polish and likes the color pink, and knows how hard even that can be for a boy. Seeing a world, if even for just one day, where barriers don't exist is incredibly important at this time. To see his wonder and joy amidst it all is a gift, and not something I could ever explain or teach. It's something that simply seeps in.

At 12, there is now a righteousness born out of greater wisdom. Seeing marriage equality come to pass and knowing there is still resistance and small-mindedness bears out more complex questions, abut sexuality, about life choices, about our places of belonging in our communities. His values are solidifying. He is more at ease. He's beginning to understand the wider landscape with fresh maturity and open-minded curiosity. This day means something to him, even bigger than just his family. Inside every truth, there is LOVE - the most important belief of all.

Alex, in this last year has naturally risen within the community as the leader he is. Using his superpowers as a space holder, connector, and trailblazer, he is heading up a local community group for bisexual men, a nearly invisible demographic on the spectrum. The BRC and Fenway Health have his back, which feels profoundly meaningful and ripe. Expansion is happening for him in ways I am truly in awe of, but not at all surprised. To be walking in the parade this time was both an honor and a new way to celebrate his own coming out as the complex and powerful inch by inch process that it continues to be.  

For me, this year was a realty check in the most humbling of ways. There was a moment on the train ride in to Boston, when were packed together like a rainbow colored clown car hurdling off to the happiest place on earth, where I felt terrified. The fear and hate seeped in, and I caught myself looking around at all the faces, all the backpacks, all the eyes I could not see into, wondering if this was somehow a terrible idea, putting our family in the line of potential fire. The thought wasn't fleeting. There were police and swat teams looking under cars, bomb dogs weaving through the crowd, and I thought about what it means to live in this world, what it really takes to stand in solidarity, in truth and love. When I read about Orlando the next day, I can't even begin to parse how broken and afraid it makes me feel. As a mother it feels almost unspeakable. But then so does hiding under the covers and allowing hate to win. 

This year's celebration was a solemn reminder. I know I must somehow continue to be a light-bearer even at times when it feels impossibly hard. Especially in those times. 

To be a Love Warrior, and never forget the sacrifice.

To choose love, again and again.

To live in love, and believe in love. 

There is no other way. There is work to be done.

Because love is love is love is love.

And that is the world I want us to live in.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Inner Alchemy Cards: Build A New World Deck

Our next make-your-own card adventure is finally here! Inner Alchemy Collage: Build A New World Deck (online) is an artful exploration of language, learning, inspiration, and collaboration, that delves into important ideas around activism and systems of oppression. This is a way for us to examine and disrupt harmful dominant narratives, tell new stories, and inspire one another to use our creativity and personal power to help build the collective world we all want to live in! In the end you will have a beautiful and meaningful handmade deck of 35 oracle cards to use as unique a tool for guidance and reflection whenever you need it.  I'm your host,  Mindy Tsonas Choi , an artist, organizer, radical belonging activist, and the founder of the Be Seen Project - a grassroots initiative resourcing BIPOC artist and makers working in activism. Join me along with other stellar artists, makers and co-creators who have also been exploring social justice and activism as part of their creativ

The Cost of Selling Belonging

As someone who use to sell belonging and believed I was creating something universally magical , I now have fresh eyes on the harm that I once caused. I understand what can (and was) incredibly healing and impactful for some, was at the same time excluding, marginalizing and undervaluing others. First, to anyone who ever felt like they did not belong to anything I created because they were unable to afford it or felt like they did not have the social capitol to join -  I am sincerely sorry for not seeing you sooner .   To our entire creative community as a whole, I urge us all to think about belonging in new and equitable ways, and to do the work of dismantling these hierarchical structures that leave so many people out of the circle. We all deserve to have access to creativity and belonging, and I'd go so far as to say both are fundamental basic human needs and rights. Selling belonging can look like... Creating spaces and experiences that can only be accessed by buying in at one,

Welcome to Rebel House

REBEL House is a place for radical art and co-creation where we practice Radicle Belonging as activism. This is the next iteration of my public (free) Patreon , and how I am building, connecting, igniting and activating. Welcome and deep gratitude for being a part of this communal living, dreaming, doing space and helping to create it! This is a collective belonging space, an initiative, and a movement house. It's where Radicle Belonging is praxis work for generative practices and disruption through connection - intentional and actionable. We are people coming together with a common goal: to use our creative visionary force to more impactfully belong to ourselves and one another. Your presence is always what is most valued.  We are doing togetherness differently here. What REBEL House is NOT: A space that values like-mindedness over active inclusivity. Sameness in belonging is only dividing us further. Pay to play. Anyone can be a part of this movement house by simply showing up