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Showing posts from October, 2016

do not go gently

As a woman, who is also non-white, with non-white children within a queer family, I have a pretty huge stake in this critical cultural and political climate. No matter what happens in November, the ugly underbelly has been exposed and change must happen. It already is happening and I am incredibly grateful to all the badass change-makers who are on the front lines. The most evident shifts I see happening are inside our sex positive community where consent culture is moving towards full-on recognition and reconciliation, dismantling the patriarchy and all its nuances and degrees. New safe and empowered spaces are being created for not only LGBTQ friends and allies, but for people of color and women as under-heard, underserved and previously disempowered minority groups within the subculture. Sexually empowered people are on the front lines of your freedom (I thought you should know). I am also one of those humans. And so I am showing up today to finally state for the record tha

she is ready to fly

I have a three and a half hour layover in Atlanta, and I am processing so much of what this weekend was for me. I feel raw and broken open in that way that only circles of women can do. It wasn't just the soul painting, it was the wild validation that I found sitting squarely inside my own life and the messages that were dialed in crystal clear. Truth be told, I almost didn't make it. I booked this class back in April, and as time approached I wasn't sure I could really pull it off - read: felt a little guilty, unsure, crunched for time, but I knew if I didn't go I'd probably regret it. So I gave myself permission. What I know now is that in giving myself this time, I am on the other side of something really huge. It's barely perceptible. Its just happened here in this noisy airport coffee shop. If we saw each other I'd probably seem like the same old me, but internally I feel like I have finally reached the vista. I am exhausted and out of breath,

houses and parts

It is week six of this new rhythm.  My parts are getting to know one another and I am getting to know them, as my therapist would say. I woke up this morning after dreaming about The House. For as long as I can remember I have always dreamt about these houses... big, grand, beautiful ones with long hallways and huge rooms and so many secrets and fear places inside. In my twenties, there was a tall staircase with a locked door at the top, inside the house I dreamt of back then. I always walked up to go try the handle and it never would open, until one day it did and then the house changed. Somewhere in my thirties, I could freely wander through the vast courtyard and the third floor expanse, but it always felt like a dark and scary place, a haunted place I did not want to be. So the shadow rooms always stayed empty and uninhabited. I rarely would go there, but I could always feel their pull even when the dream was about something else entirely and took place in another part