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Showing posts from November, 2016

knee deep in shift... and what's to come!

Change is messy. And beautiful. As I navigate the transformation that is happening at the center of my universe, so much is being revealed. I am in the process of writing new feminine leadership classes, creating sensual art workshops and curating conversations and experiences for you and I to dive into with luscious abandon.... there is so much to offer now that I have fully arrived in this vision. I am seeing with brand new clarity, and it feels like planning the most epic and evolutionary party, ever. You are totally invited! And it just so happens that in the group guided circle I lead, our November theme is about "shifting the narrative" around the core value of Story. It's all happening for me at a magnitude I never expected ( isn't that always the way? ). My Notebook is filled this month, overflowing with wild scribbles about primal communication, sexual sovereignty, expressive art, and sensual feminine movement of all modalities. Plans are in the

crossing emotional oceans

My life as I know it only came to into being after flying across half the world's water at just ten month's old, and my marriage vows spoke of the 'moving sea between two souls'. I live with a view of the Atlantic right outside my window, and she whispers to me and reminds me every day to not be afraid of her vastness. The work I am doing around my adoption and the loss of abandonment, has me wading into oceans of grief again and again. It is pain I can't at all remember, having been so young when I was relinquished by my birth family, yet I feel it so viscerally and with every fiber of my being. The sadness is immense and deeply embedded. It's a part of me in ways I am still discovering. To truly go there I have always feared drowning, and I see now that when depression overwhelmed me it was those core beliefs of not-enoughness that had somehow seeped there way in. That cycle is being broken, and I am finally strong enough to swim out to my younger self and s

creating safe spaces. a body story.

When I was in sixth grade, I remember sneaking a pair of my mom's high heels into my book bag so I could wear them in school. They were black patent, strappy, what I thought of as the embodiment of sexy, and I remember putting them on at the bus stop and feeling totally badass. That was the age boys and girls started leaning into their sexual experimentation, pairing off behind the stacks to sneak a kiss or a feel. I probably looked ridiculous, an eleven year old girl teetering around in adultish shoes, but I really just wanted to be in the club and feel the power of my own sensuality.  It tasted to me like freedom and belonging.  In all the years since then, through all the layers of cultural conditioning, all the Seventeen magazines and craze diets, through all the external messages of Yes and No and Good and Bad, and through my own sexual triumphs and traumas it has taken me more than thirty years to come back to the place when I was eleven, just wanting to be seen

we are not broken

These changes have been brewing long before the election, in the deepest parts of my soul where the layers have been pulled back to let in more light. I just didn't know exactly where things would land. But here is my truth. This is who I am,  right now . A girl who feels things deeply and now knows that this is a strength, not a deficit. A woman who can embody empowered feminine principals to grow strong, heal, and make a difference in the world. ( and so can YOU! ) It's been a long road to here, and I am still on the path... legacy to bypass, beliefs to re-wire, trauma to heal. Yesterday my day started with a cry, and not the easy trickle of tears, but the big ugly cry. It was 4am, just after my husband left and before my children awoke. I was processing this first stage of grief as I know so many of us were, so I could show up for my kids, which in hindsight was incredibly hard. Motherhood often feels like going into battle with no armor. The line between p