But here is my truth.
This is who I am, right now.
A girl who feels things deeply and now knows that this is a strength, not a deficit.
A woman who can embody empowered feminine principals to grow strong, heal, and make a difference in the world. (and so can YOU!)
It's been a long road to here, and I am still on the path... legacy to bypass, beliefs to re-wire, trauma to heal.
Yesterday my day started with a cry, and not the easy trickle of tears, but the big ugly cry. It was 4am, just after my husband left and before my children awoke. I was processing this first stage of grief as I know so many of us were, so I could show up for my kids, which in hindsight was incredibly hard. Motherhood often feels like going into battle with no armor.
The line between putting up a brave face and being honest about real, justifiable feelings is scarily narrow, and our kids needed us yesterday in a very pivotal way. I wish I could say I aced this challenge. I did my best. If nothing else, I am always honest with them about my shortcomings as a human being and a parent. It allows them to be imperfect too, and a certain healing in the moments happens inside this kind of vulnerability together. We are figuring it out as we go.
Things have been shifting from wild outrage/warrior feminist, to fear and sadness and consoling myself with chips and wine. I'm allowing whatever comes up to be, because I know now I can inhabit it all and still be strong and powerful and whole.
We are not broken.
We are awake - and amidst the lucky ones.
As painful as it is, systems break down so that we can rebuild. This is the way forward out of the broken patriarchal, masculine paradigm of stiff-upper-lipping our way to measurable actions, goals and outcomes. This election is clear evidence of where that has gotten us thus far. It is time to employ empathy, compassion, intuition, communication and collaboration. We need social intelligence and the connectivity of emotion to climb out of this hole we've dug for ourselves both culturally and globally.
And this all resides in our fierce feminine mojo.
To be clear, this is not about men vs. women - it is about each of us, irregardless of gender, accessing and using all of our power, both yin and yang.
This is what wholeness looks like... infinite, soft, supple, and elastic enough to hold and to be it all. This is exactly what my life is teaching and echoing back to me at every single turn, in my adoption story, in my marriage and relationships, in my creative work. Along with the truth that we are more resilient than we ever might have imagined.
Know, I am with you.
I believe in you.
I am rooting for us all.