One of the things that has unexpectedly come under deep examination in my life is my relationship with my mom and dad. Divorce will do that, challenge every foundational system and belief in your life. I'm understanding more and more how relationships are born of familiarity. Our attachment styles and intimacy gaps always seem to reach for what is known, both in the direction of the wildly fulfilling as well as the achingly heartbreaking. They often go hand in hand. They definitely have in my life. I can finally see the mirrors of these primary attachments reflecting back to me certain blind spots I've always had when it's come to love and belonging. Not just from my parents, but also from the long lost ghost story of my birth parents as well. I am hopeful not to repeat the kind of intimate connections that do not align with my needs, but it doesn't seem as simple as being aware and choosing something different. Quite often what sustains us is also wh