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Showing posts from June, 2018

Pride 2018

It was a big day. All my thoughts are here , but sharing these photos with you!

one of my greatest acts of love and feminism

other

The house is so eerily quiet when the kids aren't home. I'm still getting used to this new rhythm of part time motherhood and back 'n forth. Part of it has been figuring out how to take up space in my own life. First it was the practical expanse of all the rooms I had to fill. Now it's about trying to flesh out what the space of my life looks and feels like solely on my own terms.  Expansion is hard work, especially when we learn our whole lives how to shrink in a million different ways.  This is my greatest teacher right now, the growth into my own depth and breadth, and to allow myself to say yes to all that I've learned and all that I know even when it's contrary to how the world wants me to show up. I am constantly checking 'other' and finding the only containers I truly thrive in are those of my own making. My identity is coming into sharper focus that allows for a more solid and gentle living and being. And so comes the part where

keep going

One of the things that has unexpectedly come under deep examination in my life is my relationship with my mom and dad. Divorce will do that, challenge every foundational system and belief in your life. I'm understanding more and more how relationships are born of familiarity. Our attachment styles and intimacy gaps always seem to reach for what is known, both in the direction of the wildly fulfilling as well as the achingly heartbreaking. They often go hand in hand. They definitely have in my life. I can finally see the mirrors of these primary attachments reflecting back to me certain blind spots I've always had when it's come to love and belonging. Not just from my parents, but also from the long lost ghost story of my birth parents as well.   I am hopeful not to repeat the kind of intimate connections that do not align with my needs, but it doesn't seem as simple as being aware and choosing something different. Quite often what sustains us is also wh