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gone wishing

This cool, foggy weather is a much needed reprieve from all the hot steamy weather we've had this summer. The heat always seems to totally slow me down, and the solstice seasons in general for me are a time for less hustle and more flow. It feels like gestation... doing the hardest deepest work on the inside that looks like resting and standing-still on the outside. It takes up a lot of space and depth and energy, though there's nothing to really tangible to show for it in the end, but the biggest growth is somehow always happening beneath the surface. 

So, there's been loads of family time, binge watching Stranger Things, trying new recipes like chilled Salmon Niciose (so good!), wandering seaside towns and collecting treasures and inspiration, reading and listening and taking long naps, sitting by the pond watching the boys catch sunfish and thinking about the possibilities. 

I'm always grateful when the fall energy starts to show up. School supplies being collected and lists checked off, new sneakers in bigger sizes for the kids, Halloween candy in the store isles, all signs a new season is awakening, the old shedding away making room for whats new. 

I've been thinking about a lot of existential things, not a crisis mind you, but puzzling out what I want for this next take on my life... the difference between the support at a distance and more nurturing and intimate emotional availability in relationships... the importance I've been feeling around de-centering myself in my work and making it more about my impact and reach... the difference between a Job, a Career, and a Calling, and how those things manifest and coexist in our work in the world... how to be more of a cheerleader and safety net for my kids, and do less managing and policing... my role in general as a newly Single Mom... and giving less energy to needing to figure it out and more to living in what is, hearing recently that the search for understanding is also a search of external validation(!), which I am trying to turn the corner on in a very big way and become more sturdy in my own Ruby Slippers. 

There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.