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Showing posts from March, 2020

vitamin sea

On Saturday, we made our way up the coast headed to one of our  favorite parks  only to learn once we crossed the MA/NH border that all public beaches and parks in NH are now officially closed. There was forboding yellow caution tape cordoning off all the main parking lots on the drive up. Still, there were lots of people out walking along the craggy sidewalks and even a few surfers riding the swells. I imagine it won't be long before our state institutes the same rule, as it seems everywhere people continue to congregate. Our neighbors even had a little block party going on Friday, which we decidedly avoided. In our last bid for some open air and sunshine before several days of rain rolled in, we found a place to pull off the scenic overlook along route 1A and climbed down to explore the rocky shoreline. The waves were wild and the air was briny, and it felt good to be swallowed up by the sound and rhythm of the sea. Alex and Athen skipped rocks for a good long w

breathe.

Its been a week.  It feels like everything and nothing at the same time. And while it feels like some kind of rhythm is slowly revealing itself as the days stack up one on top of the next, things still seem completely strange and surreal. Life looks familiar on the surface... my decaf with almond milk in the morning, the time puttering and working in the studio, moments laughing and cooking with my kids, the spring buds on the trees... but something about it doesn't feel like my life at all. I'm back to practicing daily gratitude. It's a touchstone that feels important right now. All those years ago when I started filling notebooks with the small bits of wonder I was grateful for, before it was the trendy thing Oprah was encouraging us all to do, it felt like the natural way to help me root deeper into my own joy. I've had this lovely blank journal sitting on my shelf, and seeing it as I rummaged around for things to create with, it seemed like the per

the year there was no squam

sunrise on the dock at Eldorado, Fall 2019 Following yesterday morning's announcement that there will be no Squam Art Workshops in the year 2020, the first time since its inception in 2008, I spent the day quietly grieving while also holding space for other people's wide range of emotions, side by side. The outpouring of love, support and solidarity has been incredible, even overwhelming at times, and I've been so touched and inspired by all the different ways kindness and love has found a way to hold us in these uncertain times. I have no better or more eloquent words at the moment. I am working as best I can to process all of the feelings and outcomes as things continue to shift and move beneath our feet. What I do know for sure is as we continue to navigate the devastating impact Covid19 will have on all of us as a community, a country, and an entire culture, I am certain of this deep and abiding truth: creativity and community will always be my way of l

blogging the days

What is getting me through right now are these handful of writers who are sharing their day to day. They've been making me feel less alone and a little more connected in this time of social and physical distancing. Stop by and sit for a spell, have a read, share your thoughts with them. If you're writing your way through as well let me know and I will happily add you to this list. Be safe and stay well, friends. A Thousand Shades of Gray Christina Rosalie Christine Serfozo GG Made It Hearts and Ears Isabel Abbott Jen Lee Jena Schwartz Jennifer Grow Karen Maezen Miller Mary Art Life Michelle GD Posey Gets Cozy Sarah Fite The Shelter Stories

the beauty in the mess

Yesterday was hard and strange and sweet and mostly, in the end, full of love. The day started with a thermometer in my mouth as I had had a low fever the night before. Of course that sent me down the Google rabbit hole asking all the questions one does when you worry about a virus infiltrating your bubble of safety (not a great thing to do before bed during a pandemic). No fever the next morning though, and today I feel as normal as can be expected, which is to say physically I think I'm okay. I wonder what it would read if we were able to take our emotional temperature, kind of like the way Mary Poppins could size up people with her magical measuring tape. Mine might read: sunny and steadfast with a chance of meltdown. Without a schedule I find myself working a little every day, where I used to keep weekends pretty sacred to family time. Since every day is now family time (I'll leave it up to you to contextualize this in any sweet or snarky way ;) it seems all the m

a prayer from mother earth

even when you feel like you're walking the path alone wisdom and grace are all around   we are all part of it's ancient truth the beauty, the light, the growth and perseverance there are always unexpected doorways and bridges to discover and new life that brings hope for all there is to come

there's room for all of your feelings

As I was driving around yesterday, being sent to one pharmacy after the next to hunt down my prescription (finally got it filled at CVS #3 several towns over), I couldn't help but notice how good I was feeling. I had just gone for a long walk, the windows were down and the warm spring breeze was streaming in and I had the music loud and I was singing along. Then what started creeping is was guilt - "this is no time to feel good, people are suffering and everything is uncertain." I felt like the girl inappropriately smiling at a funeral. It touched on exactly what a creative friend said to me yesterday as well, about how she was wrestling with whether or not to move forward with sharing uplifting content when the world was feeling so doom and gloom. It made me pause and wonder if I too should be careful about being too sunny. And so I've been musing on these questions ever since.   Where I landed, what feels like the wisest medicine to me, is that all

a little something something

Something I'm reading :: All You Can Ever Know , a memoir by a fellow Korean American adoptee and her search for her birth family. I've been reading it in small doses because so much of it feels like words I could have written myself. Nicole articulates her experiences and her story so beautifully. What medicine it is to hear other adoptee's voices. And also, this book is for anyone who has ever struggled with love and family and a search for belonging. Something I'm Making ::  Knitting up a quick pair of these mitts in this delicious hot pink Blue Sky yarn (in Lotus), that I grabbed while at Purl Soho in January. A modern twist on what Claire would have worn. I also finally used the yarn swift to roll my first ball of yarn - that was fun (Hazel thought so too). Something I'm Watching ::  Alex and I are catching up on Season 5 of The Magicians  (a kind of Harry Potter for grown ups), and I'm still musing on this previous quote, "What if the

times like these

One thing I am realizing, more so than usual under these strange circumstances, is that I am so content to have no externally imposed schedule. I've noticed I've been going to bed later, getting up without an alarm whenever my body decides it's time, and not always in need of what usually is a daily nap. Mostly, I feel more embodied, inspired, and activated without the constraint of so many outside demands. I can actually hear and feel my own rhythms and needs a bit more, even with all four of us at home. It's true, I thrive without structure and all this slow and spacious living is totally agreeing with me. This is not to say that if you are among the extroverts of the world, or those who need predictability and routine to function, I totally feel you and empathize with how difficult and counterintuitive things must feel right now. Also, anxiety and isolation are real and intersectional based on your social location and access to things like a month's wort

the way back machine

It has been a while since I have moved paint around on a page, and last night the urge hit. I just allowed myself to follow the easy flow of choosing 3 colors and smearing them together, then making a few marks in my notebook. Nothing fancy. All joy. I've also been combing through my stacks of magazines and old copies of Artful Blogging, searching for inspiration, artists to follow and old bloggers still sharing their creative lives. Of course I had to add a few collage bits as well. Maybe I need to go pick up a current issue. Hmm... There's really something quite extraordinary that I can't quite put my finger on yet, to all this reflecting and reconnecting. What was once old feels like a bridge, a pathway full of wisdom and gifts, to something new and important to bring forward for these times.  It's been through this excavation that I remembered the Way Back Machine , where I've able to recover 5 years of blogging archives and see many of my pr

blooming in the dark

It's officially day 5 of the shut down. I woke up extra early this morning and couldn't fall back to sleep. So instead of laying in bed awake, just before 5am I headed out for a walk. One of the sweet things about where we live now is that downtown is just a block away. We haven't ventured out too much yet, as the weather is still giving us wintery days - even a bit of snow this morning. Still, I was motivated to get out ahead of the rain to capture the stillness of the early hours and get some fresh air.  my favorite magnolia tree in front of our library I always look forward to its blooming empty streets and twinkle lights I'm grateful for so many things as we prepare to hunker down for who knows how long, and I can't help but think how if this were last March I would be completely out of a job at the local restaurant I was waitressing at to make ends meet as a single mom. How things have changed in such a short amount of time. So it

back to basics

(thanks, Meg , for this sweet patch from your travels to Bankok!) Even before the mass shutdowns something in the air had me reaching back and digging through the archives to remember what online life once used to be, when I first found blogging in 2005. Initially I was chasing a feeling, something easier back when life was not meant to be a brand or a message or "blog worthy", and the real and rich community that these humble online journals built. I'd gone looking for old roots to my creativity - that pure and simple spark of joy and inspiration that woke me up every day and urged me to share my creative voice and daily wanderings with a handful of devoted readers who's virtual porches I then shared in turn. While on our walk outside yesterday exploring a trail/bike path that was once old route 95, I felt that familiar tug... notice beauty, collect moments, share inspiration. Yes , there is was... that old pull to be in the moment, grab my camera, and post