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times like these

One thing I am realizing, more so than usual under these strange circumstances, is that I am so content to have no externally imposed schedule. I've noticed I've been going to bed later, getting up without an alarm whenever my body decides it's time, and not always in need of what usually is a daily nap. Mostly, I feel more embodied, inspired, and activated without the constraint of so many outside demands. I can actually hear and feel my own rhythms and needs a bit more, even with all four of us at home. It's true, I thrive without structure and all this slow and spacious living is totally agreeing with me.

This is not to say that if you are among the extroverts of the world, or those who need predictability and routine to function, I totally feel you and empathize with how difficult and counterintuitive things must feel right now. Also, anxiety and isolation are real and intersectional based on your social location and access to things like a month's worth of TP and healthcare. I know my privilege is great under these circumstances, and I am trying to reconcile and leverage what I have. Using my creative energy to connect with others feels like a good place to start. This little blog project isn't just for my own sanity and self expression, it's also to reach out and help other people feel less alone. 

So today, while also musing on such existential things (welcome to my brain), I'll be working on a fun textile project for Squam. I've got collaging and painting set up on the studio table so it's easy to just dive in when the desire strikes. Maybe it will even entice my kids to make something, but I'm also trying to let go of daily agendas and let them rest and feel into their own rhythms and needs as well. I think it's probably a lot harder if you have young children, and feel really grateful that this is happening in this current moment when my kids can goto the bathroom on their own and feed themselves if they have to. Ten and sixteen are so much easier on the daily-living home front. Just want to name that for you mamas (and dads) in the trenches of parenthood. And there is also this reality which had me cracking up this morning, but so far so good. Day 7 and I still love my husband and boys ;)

We are also getting outside as much as we can. It's total medicine and resets any restless, cranky energy. Yesterday we hiked the Ghost Trail and the kids found all but one of the hidden geocaches along the way. We also weren't sad to discover that at the end of the trail was an open Dairy Queen take out window. In times like these, sprinkles are magic.